if you don't have anything nice to say....(an aside)

I'm feeling bad...not so much because I have an awful head cold and am also taking care of 4 little humans who are also hacking and wheezing, but because I sunk to snarkiness in my comments on some of the entries in the Fall Colors contest. My mother always said (and yours did too) "if you don't have anything nice to say...."you know the rest.

For some odd reason I started feeling like the Nancy Drew of design contests--bothered by some of the contestants' lack of honesty, comments on their own entries, and surreptitious links to other sites, I felt the need to "out" them. In so doing, I ended up just feeling terrible. I apologized for one particular comment that left a nasty taste in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone cheating and baseness, but I still don't like the part of me who would feel the need to call them out on it. These contests seem to bring out the inner bitch in me. I'm addicted to peering into peoples' homes, but I didn't enter my own house for good reason...so why am I critical of those who have opened their doors for us all to see?

Still, I'm no MrGreen....though I do miss him.

personal dna

continuing with the meme from Sadia and Wende

under the microscope

I haven't written anything here in over a week. I did get the living room deep-

cleaned and de-
cluttered, but I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed...everywhere I look I see something that needs improvement or something I want to change. My mental list of stuff to buy has been growing longer and longer, and my dissatisfaction seems to be increasing. I look around me and see the things that a few years ago that I just had to have as in "if I buy these bookcases, the dining room will be perfectly organized"....and "this brown shag rug will be the perfect addition to the living room"...and "if I buy this computer desk then all my problems with organizing paperwork will be solved." Now the bookshelves make me feel claustrophobic and the brown rug seems to suck the life out of the room, and of course the computer desk is piled with crap and blocking my chi. I will slog through this week of de-cluttering the office space (trying to figure out where in the world to relocate it so that I can open up the door between the hall and my bedroom.)

Yesterday I went to Target and loaded my cart up with the perfect lamp and the perfect bedspread and the perfect pillows, and walked all around the store....and then I put it all back. I am going on a moratorium of purchasing things until I really get myself through the deep treatment, and then I will go back through the cure and really decide what purchases are necessary. I think I am finally getting it now... buying more stuff does not really fix the core issues, and not buying stuff might make my life more perfect. Not so much of a revelation as a realization (I mean it's not rocket science) I guess I'm a hypocrite because these are messages I have always espoused to my children, I just never convinced myself....in my own heart that it's not the stuff that makes you happy. I have read so many books on the subject that I could write one myself (of course I bought all of those books and have them stacked on my cluttered dining room shelves and piled on my messy desk.) Practice what you preach, woman.

Note: the above photo of an ant's head was taken by my 8-year old son, using my old 1980's toy microscope and a digital camera for a school science project...we do have lots of fun and my life isn't as terrible as this blog sometimes makes it seem. I just need to remind myself of that.

wall of architectural metal in entry

Married to a sheet metal crafts-
man...our house (and garage) is filled with archi-
tectural salvage. These are conductor heads (from the top of downspouts on old buildings) that he replaced. He likes to keep the originals, because they were all hand-formed, and have a beautiful patina that can't really be replicated without years of snow and rain (acid I presume). He has lots of different paints and chemicals to age metal and fake a patina, but the new replacements never "really" look old in the same way years of weather and pollution on the originals do.

entry....after the frenzy

Worked hard today to get back on track with the cure. Scrubbed walls, washed venetian blinds, polished wood, put away laundry, filled two bags with "outbox" stuff. Vacuumed and mopped floors. Put away many, many, many pairs of shoes.

We are having a carpenter build cubbies for children's belongings...the project should be completed within the month...so I am not too focused on creating the perfect landing strip right now. At least I cleared out the garbage and regained our nice entry hall.

I'm not very content with the color of the space...it seems so dark no matter the time of day, because it receives very little natural light. When we moved into the house six (!) years ago, I was in such a green and hibernating phase...7 months pregnant in the middle of a nasty winter...nearly every room is some shade of green. This is such a cold dark space...I'd really like to liven it up. In the near future, we'll be re-wiring, so repainting will wait until then, but I'm already thinking about colors....yellow, terracotta, lime.

landing strip?.....dumping ground.

disaster (with eight-year old's feet)

the horror of it all....the entry before