top 10 (okay....12)

This would be the list.....I have these (or very similar) items in my closet (except for the yummy red coat...in real life, I am still wearing my trusty black wool.) The top three items are my basic daily uniform...which is definitely how I think of it. I am in the process of adding color!

1. Black trousers
2. Black cardigan sweater
3. White scoop neck T
4. Red turtleneck sweater
5. Plaid wool bias-cut skirt (found mine at Goodwill for $3)
6. Black wedge-heeled knee-high boots (mine are suede, but I want a new pair)
7. Black tights (those red plaid shoes are cool too....but they don't count)
8. Bright coat (I still want a great coat...the one from La Redoutte was not a success)
9. Crochet scarf (I have several scarves that I knitted last year...now I want to crochet, and I have plenty of yarn to make something like this funky number)
10. Cloche hat with funky flower (I love hats, and as a knitter, I have several that I made for myself...this one is next--I just bought the pattern at my lys)
11. Tote bag (mine is black, white & red, but is slightly different in shape, with red leather trim and handles instead of black)
12. Totally frivolous bonus: Black & white print knit wrap dress (I love mine, which has a slightly different print....in another life, I'd wear dresses every day)

If I could add one more thing, it would be big black sunglasses....and then if I could keep adding, I'd add my clogs......

diving right in

I love purses, and like to change frequently, but am not a "my purse must match my shoes" kind of girl. I also do not really care about status brands and labels--I look more for quality and quirky style. This fall, I acquired two new patterned bags that compliment most of my clothes and add a little flair to my basic black wardrobe.

I especially like mid-sized structured bags with detail, pockets, and medium-length handles--purses that can be worn as shoulder bags under the arm or carried by the handles. But my current lifestyle demands a larger bag that can hold an assortment of legos, polly-pockets, slinkys, comic-books, crayons, raisins, goldfish crackers, day-planner, notebook, book or magazine for me, newspaper, knitting... Because I spend a significant amount of time waiting while children are in various after-school activities, I need to always have something in the bag to occupy a waiting child and something to exercise my own brain.

Torture Devices
None. (Because of space constraints, I purge purses and shoes regularly, sometimes to my detriment.)

Velveteen Rabbits
None.

Superstars
1. Dark red leather zip-top crescent-shaped purse with braided shoulder straps, topstitching and rivets and chain accents. Trendy without being in-your-face.
2. Red/Black op art patterned tote (fabric with red leather trim/handles).
3. Trendy red/orange/purple/black owl patterned tote (fabric with red leather trim/handles)--my little nod to the 70s and my mother's collection of owl figurines.
4. Black leather zip-top bolster-shaped purse with metalic leather trim and brass rivets.
5. Large teal suede saddlebag purse with long across-the-chest strap. Deceptively roomy...can hold an impressive amount of stuff. (Suede isn't so practical though with grubby, sticky kids.)
6. Chocolate zip-top leather bag that looks slightly western...cobuchon accents on strap, ruched on sides and front with drawstrings. Funkier than most of the purses I own, but the dark color works.

Stalwart Staples
1. Black zip-top crescent-shaped purse with silver buckle pocket.
2. Medium brown zip-top bucket bag.
3. 6 plain canvas tote bags that are used for grocery shopping and library visits.
4. 3 brand-new tote bags (based on the Craftster bag posted by zooza) I whipped them up last night and am very proud of myself.

Same Time, Next Year
1. Yellow Chinese-satin structured evening bag...gorgeous, but what do I have to wear it with? Could be worn with the totally impractical, elegant white-linen pantsuit that I don't currently own but have dreams of wearing. (I'll keep the bag for the dream it provides.)
2. Black velvet evening bag (shaped like a tiny boat and tote)...this is my absolute go-to bag for evening (not that I have many occasions to use it.)
3. Vintage gold evening bag...lovely but ostentatious....especially when worn with the matching gold shoes.
4. Teal straw bucket bag with plastic handles.
5. (Found one more hidden in the depths--it's my favorite summer purse, so how could I forget it?) Tall rectangular black canvas purse with tan leather handles, white top-stitched outside pockets, candy-striped lining.

In summary:
I think I am set with purses...nothing seems blatantly missing. I am sure I'll pick up an occasional purse or two on my weekly thrift-store visit if something jumps out at me, but I'm not actively looking for anything in particular.

I switch purses frequently and should probably buy or make a purse organizer insert to make swapping easier.

This was easy...if you noticed, I cheated and jumped right in with purses. Shoes tomorrow, and then I'll get to the hard stuff after that.

where the wild things are....here in pittsburgh

So, I started with my piles this morning. I pulled everything out of my closet and started sorting...didn't get very far. I left the room to answer the phone, and when my brief conversation with my sister was over, I returned to work. Alas, the 4 monsters (previously referred to as children) had a party in my absence. My clothes are now completely jumbled together from being jumped on and tossed about like confetti. I threw them all in a big tub (the clothes, not the kids) and will resume piling on Monday. (My car is in the shop anyway, so I won't be going anywhere.) Well, at least I did find something to wear to dinner tonight. (Hooray!!! We have a babysitter!!!! just hope the monsters have reverted back to children by then.)

I am sooo very far behind everyone else.

A Party in the Making

Well, I've surprised myself by actually planning a party. It will happen on a weekday during the first week of December while children are in school. I am inviting nine friends over for brunch and a cookie swap...I know, it does seem a bit suburban and Martha-ish for the likes of me, but maybe I'll add a little punk rock and polka to the expected background holiday music for a touch of rebellion.

This is what I have in mind:

menu
Shrimp and grits (yes, I am originally from the deep, deep south)
Ham and biscuits (I learned to make biscuits from Aunt Dolly when I was 10, and from then on have been the designated biscuit baker for all family occasions)
Quiche (with spinach, mushrooms and gruyere)
Salad greens with clementine wedges (balsamic vinaigrette topped with sunflower seeds)
Fresh fruit salad
Assortment of small finger desserts...tarts, cream puffs, petit-fours

I'll ask each friend to bring 6-dozen home baked holiday cookies, and we'll swap...so each will go home with a mixture of 6-dozen cookies to put in the freezer and serve to guests as needed over the holiday season.

Two of my friends are Jewish, one is Pagan, and one insists she is going to celebrate Festivus...but all of us love cookies and are excited to try this. It will be an interesting group of women...some new friends and some old friends. I am considering having some simple craft we could make together and take home as a gift...am trying to figure out what that might be....I have to pull out my secret stash of Living magazines for inspiration (though I purged nearly all of my extensive magazine collection during the cure, I just couldn't bring myself to part with the holiday issues of Living or the now defunct Martha Stewart Kids, I have those 20-odd magazines neatly hidden away in a basement cupboard for an occasion such as this.)

B.C. (before children), we used to entertain friends for dinner on a regular basis, but have done so infrequently in the past few years, since my children seem to turn into circus performers, wild things, or spawn of the devil the instant any visitor crosses the threshold. This is why the party aspect of the cure seemed so daunting to me, but by hosting this during school hours, the little complications are removed from the equation.

Joyous colors: overall plan

(this is me with DH and our brood taken during our summer vacation)













I did the Color Self Analysis and am a High Contrast Winter...which means my flattering colors would be dark clear primary colors with these specific suggestions:
Neutral: Black (I have this covered at least)
Romantic Red: Light Pink (I haven't worn this color since 1982)
Power Red: Cherry
Dramatic Color: Deep Aqua (Teal)
Understated: Deep Purple
Metal: Silver

This season, I've been attracted to deep teal, bright yellow, pumpkin, dark red, chocolate, moss green, dusky plum and midnight blue. The bright yellow is the only one on my list that is clearly unflattering to my skin tone...so, at least my likes pretty much mesh with the suggested flattering colors.
For now, I plan to stick with my basic black-on-bottom uniform (with the addition of a wish-list skirt in chocolate and one in dark charcoal) I plan to add these colors in tops/accessories:
























Last night in a fit of insanity, I ordered this coat in charcoal. It seemed a reasonable price and has a touch of the bohemian that I am seeking--it might be a bit flamboyant for ferrying kids around town, but I splurged. I also might buy this coat from Target (in real-life, the color is definitely more teal than the picture shows, the price is good, and I definitely get a lot of use out of coats during a Pittsburgh winter.)

Wardrobe Therapy?

What's this?
You can read all about it here. Wende in Phoenix has decided to expand MGR's approach to curing one's home to curing one's wardrobe. I’m going to join in too…I’m a Stay-at-Home-Mom of 4 children, and I just turned 40—I feel like I’ve lost my own sense of style and am definitely in a fashion rut. Now that my youngest child has started attending pre-school, I am spending more time outside of the house volunteering for various organizations, and am trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. As a former clothes-horse turned frumpy mom, I’d like to regain some of my joie de vivre and look a little bit hipper (and a little less hippier).

When I first left my career in development for an art museum to become a SAHM, I had really nice clothes and nowhere to wear them. After years (yes, years…I had 4 children in 5 years) of pregnancies and the resulting changes in my figure, I wear black. Black pants, black shirts, black skirts, black tights, black coats, black shoes, black sunglasses. I know people refer to me as “Link’s mom, you know, the woman who always wears black.” I will ALWAYS love a good pair of black pants, but I truly need to add life and color and pattern back into my wardrobe.

The Quiz.

More Favorites.
Candidate for "Best Dressed," real or fictional.
I’ve always loved historical dramas for the luscious clothes….I’m someone who has been known to watch movies solely for the clothing. Out of Africa…Room with a View…Howard’s End…all those Jane Austen flicks…Orlando….Elizabeth…all the Merchant Ivory films. I aspire to the preppy-bohemian-artiste/trendy-librarian look, but my real wardrobe does not resemble these clothes…I never wear pastels, embroidery, velvet, lace or romantic gauzy things. Or any pattern, ever. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a real person who dresses that way—I haven’t picked up a fashion magazine in a long, long time…

Favorite garment/outfit EVER.
In my first “real” career out of college, I worked in a law firm where women HAD to wear suits with skirts….I had the most perfect black suit from Ann Taylor….fit me like it was custom tailored for me and looked great in the office or out on the town….it had beautiful buttons and an unusual curved neckline—looked vaguely like a Chanel. I always felt like a million bucks in that suit. I probably wore it a bit too often.

Current favorite garment.
A pair of black pants that actually fit me well—purchased at Kohl’s—liked them so much I bought three pair. A black tailored trench coat that fits me really well and makes me feel like I live in NYC.

Favorite thing to wear, if reality weren't an issue in any way, shape, or form.
Brown a-line embellished velvet skirt, teal vintage-look cardigan with skinny brown belt, ethnic bead necklace, patterned tights, knee-high dark brown boots, paisley scarf thrown casually around shoulders—with a Russian-inspired embroidered coat. I don’t currently own this outfit or have the guts to wear it.

or

A straight floor length low-cut black velvet dress by Oleg Cassini that I found in a discount store for less than $10….This dress makes me look about 10 pounds lighter and 10 years younger and accentuates my curves in a positive way. As a stay at home mother of 4 young children can you imagine any time I’d actually have the opportunity to wear this garment out of my house? I do pull it out of the back of my closet and try it on sometimes to fantasize.

Favorite store, given unlimited wealth.
I don’t know…maybe Prada or Anthropologie or Eileen Fisher—I love those clothes, but I don’t know if they are made to fit me. Add in some vintage thrift-store finds for personality.

Favorite fashion faux-pas story to tell, now that the scars have healed.
During the 10^th grade during the early 1980s when everyone was extremely label conscious and actually took the Official Preppy Handbook seriously, I was mortified when a popular, snobby girl made sure everyone knew that I had worn the same pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (I owned only one pair) several times in one week (oh the horror!). I’m sure I’ve had other faux-pas that I’ve blocked out of my memory, but one good thing about wearing all black is that it is generally easy blend into any environment and is generally appropriate for any occasion.


How You Live & the People Around You

If there were a uniform for the place where you spend most of your time, what would it be?
Most of the moms around me wear black track suits with stripes down the leg and matching hoodie or t-shirt with yoga pants, jeans or khaki capris. (I absolutely never wear track-suits, jeans or t-shirts—somehow they make me look very butch, and forget about khaki capris—NEVER in a million years) I definitely have my own uniform…black pants, white v-neck, black cardigan or jacket, black clogs, sunglasses. That’s how I think of it too…a uniform that I really never have to think much about...just grab it, throw it on, and go.

If there were a uniform for where you spend your leisure, what would it be?
Same as above.

Your Wardrobe

What is the problem with your wardrobe?
Too much black. Not enough color. Need more flair with accessorizing, and details that express my personality.

If your wardrobe could speak, what would it say is the problem?
Lighten up for a change! Are you in mourning? Trying to blend in? Trying to look skinny when you aren’t? Give us some color and shape! Stop buying baggy black things to camouflage yourself and let us embrace your curves.

What one thing do you want your wardrobe to do more of?
Be more colorful.

What do you want people to say about your wardrobe?
“She’s very hip and interesting-looking for a middle-aged mother of four children.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I think she might be an artist.”

week eight??? already???

Though absent from the blogging world for a few weeks, I still plugged away at the cure. Accomplishments:
1. I got the bathroom cleaned and purged tons of excess bed sheets & pillowcases.
2. Deep-cleaned the children's rooms and got rid of several bags of unneeded/outgrown clothing.
3. Deep-cleaned our bedroom.
4. Purchased one set of pretty bed sheets. (even though I previously declared a moratorium.)
5. Deep-cleaned the dining room and organized shelves and books...purchased lampshades for outdated chandelier's glass shades.
6. Deep-cleaned the living room.

I am not quite ready to party yet, but do have plans to invite friends to dinner in 2 weeks.

I still want to do the one-room treatment on the master bedroom, then the living room. We finally have enough money saved up to rewire our house and purchase some new appliances, which means some updating of the kitchen (a dishwasher--yay!!). Once the rewiring is done, I'll have another round of curing to do, because we will have some wall repair and repainting. I'll finally be able to move husband's electronics and record albums (thousands!) from the living room to the attic (it will be his man cave), which will leave room in the living room for some bookshelves flanking the fireplace and an additional arm chair. I think I'll paint the living room a pale yellow to bring in some sunlight, and I want to hang velvet drapes. I love this picture of Catiaelizabeth's living room from the Fall Colors Contest, and will use it for inspiration:



















I also love this photo of Erin's Home of Happiness (I will eventually figure out where I can use a tiny bit of wallpaper somewhere in my house)

if you don't have anything nice to say....(an aside)

I'm feeling bad...not so much because I have an awful head cold and am also taking care of 4 little humans who are also hacking and wheezing, but because I sunk to snarkiness in my comments on some of the entries in the Fall Colors contest. My mother always said (and yours did too) "if you don't have anything nice to say...."you know the rest.

For some odd reason I started feeling like the Nancy Drew of design contests--bothered by some of the contestants' lack of honesty, comments on their own entries, and surreptitious links to other sites, I felt the need to "out" them. In so doing, I ended up just feeling terrible. I apologized for one particular comment that left a nasty taste in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I don't condone cheating and baseness, but I still don't like the part of me who would feel the need to call them out on it. These contests seem to bring out the inner bitch in me. I'm addicted to peering into peoples' homes, but I didn't enter my own house for good reason...so why am I critical of those who have opened their doors for us all to see?

Still, I'm no MrGreen....though I do miss him.

personal dna

continuing with the meme from Sadia and Wende

under the microscope

I haven't written anything here in over a week. I did get the living room deep-

cleaned and de-
cluttered, but I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed...everywhere I look I see something that needs improvement or something I want to change. My mental list of stuff to buy has been growing longer and longer, and my dissatisfaction seems to be increasing. I look around me and see the things that a few years ago that I just had to have as in "if I buy these bookcases, the dining room will be perfectly organized"....and "this brown shag rug will be the perfect addition to the living room"...and "if I buy this computer desk then all my problems with organizing paperwork will be solved." Now the bookshelves make me feel claustrophobic and the brown rug seems to suck the life out of the room, and of course the computer desk is piled with crap and blocking my chi. I will slog through this week of de-cluttering the office space (trying to figure out where in the world to relocate it so that I can open up the door between the hall and my bedroom.)

Yesterday I went to Target and loaded my cart up with the perfect lamp and the perfect bedspread and the perfect pillows, and walked all around the store....and then I put it all back. I am going on a moratorium of purchasing things until I really get myself through the deep treatment, and then I will go back through the cure and really decide what purchases are necessary. I think I am finally getting it now... buying more stuff does not really fix the core issues, and not buying stuff might make my life more perfect. Not so much of a revelation as a realization (I mean it's not rocket science) I guess I'm a hypocrite because these are messages I have always espoused to my children, I just never convinced myself....in my own heart that it's not the stuff that makes you happy. I have read so many books on the subject that I could write one myself (of course I bought all of those books and have them stacked on my cluttered dining room shelves and piled on my messy desk.) Practice what you preach, woman.

Note: the above photo of an ant's head was taken by my 8-year old son, using my old 1980's toy microscope and a digital camera for a school science project...we do have lots of fun and my life isn't as terrible as this blog sometimes makes it seem. I just need to remind myself of that.

wall of architectural metal in entry

Married to a sheet metal crafts-
man...our house (and garage) is filled with archi-
tectural salvage. These are conductor heads (from the top of downspouts on old buildings) that he replaced. He likes to keep the originals, because they were all hand-formed, and have a beautiful patina that can't really be replicated without years of snow and rain (acid I presume). He has lots of different paints and chemicals to age metal and fake a patina, but the new replacements never "really" look old in the same way years of weather and pollution on the originals do.

entry....after the frenzy

Worked hard today to get back on track with the cure. Scrubbed walls, washed venetian blinds, polished wood, put away laundry, filled two bags with "outbox" stuff. Vacuumed and mopped floors. Put away many, many, many pairs of shoes.

We are having a carpenter build cubbies for children's belongings...the project should be completed within the month...so I am not too focused on creating the perfect landing strip right now. At least I cleared out the garbage and regained our nice entry hall.

I'm not very content with the color of the space...it seems so dark no matter the time of day, because it receives very little natural light. When we moved into the house six (!) years ago, I was in such a green and hibernating phase...7 months pregnant in the middle of a nasty winter...nearly every room is some shade of green. This is such a cold dark space...I'd really like to liven it up. In the near future, we'll be re-wiring, so repainting will wait until then, but I'm already thinking about colors....yellow, terracotta, lime.

landing strip?.....dumping ground.

disaster (with eight-year old's feet)

the horror of it all....the entry before

the girl who can't say no....

Well, I haven't made much visible progress during the last two weeks. I have gotten a little bit done: cleaned out the fridge, filled lots of bags up with outgrown childrens' clothing for donation, cleaned out the coat closet....but when you walk in the house, it looks like a disaster!

Here's the thing...I promised myself that I would spend two months on my house, without distraction or making any new commitments. But I lied. In the last three weeks I have spent over 40 hours volunteering in my childrens' school, I have spent over 8 hours volunteering for the toy library, I have hosted a birthday party for 15 five-year-olds, I have committed to chairing a fundraiser, I attended 2 community meetings, I am in the midst of writing the school newsletter...and the list goes on.

See, I have this problem. Like Ado Annie, I just can't say no to others....but I am starting to realize that always saying yes to others means saying no to myself.

serendipity!

Yesterday, after my contemplation session, I decided to look for or make an upholstered headboard for the bedroom....Imagine my surprise when I popped into the Salvation Army today to kill some time before picking-up the gang from school and (cue host of angels singing) THERE WAS MY HEADBOARD!!! (Wende, what are the odds?) King-sized, clean, solidly made, nice classic form. Set me back a whopping $9.95! Granted it is currently covered in a pinkish ultrasuede (not my thing at all) but will be so incredibly easy to recover it....now decision time!

How should I interpret my inspiration photos in the room?

The givens....
1. The bed has to stay in front of the window.
2. I want to use Alana's suggestion to extend the drapery to the width of the bed.
3. To do that, I must purchase (or make) new drapery& hardware.
4. I will cover the headboard.
5. I will paint the room.

My initial thoughts....
1. Paint all the walls the pale bluish-green.
2. Use flax color for drapes and some of the bed linens.
3. Use some deeper turquoise for other bed linens.
4. Boldly go where I have never gone before and use YELLOW! for the headboard? And add other bits of yellow throughout the room with accessories & artwork?

I currently don't own any yellow things, but I realized (with props to Alana) that it is a common thread throughout the inspiration rooms in my style tray. And I have recently been caught drooling over the images in Jess2NOLA's blog black.white.yellow.

Does it seem too much of a whim to use yellow for the headboard, since I have just discovered my lust for it? Am I over-thinking this? Do I over-think almost everything?

Bedroom Inspiration from Blueprint Magazine

Bedroom from Blueprint Magazine
Originally uploaded by p0lkad0t

Color inspiration for Bedroom from Domino

Bedroom inspiration from Domino

Bedroom Before

the cure bedroom before 004
Originally uploaded by p0lkad0t

quiet contemplation....(or mom! what are you sitting there for?)

Today I followed Maxwell's suggestion to sit down in a place in my house where I never sit...I chose the bedroom chair, which though very comfy is usually piled with clothing and harboring an action figure or two. After clearing the chair of its plastic occupants and putting the clean laundry away, I sat....It was hard, especially the silence part.

I am doing the deep treatment cure, but the bedroom is definitely one room I want put a bit more effort into. Besides our mattress, we have never had "real" bedroom furniture, just castoffs and placeholders. It may be wishful thinking, but I really would like to have a romantic, grown-up space for my husband and I to share--where children knock before entering (and wait for the response). A place to retreat for rest and reconnection at the end of the day. I think I'm about done with the family bed thing, and I long for a shred of privacy--maybe it is time to modify our open-door policy.

I developed a mini-list of improvements for the bedroom (don't know if the budget will handle all of them) This was a good exercise in sticking with it, even when it wasn't so easy.

Things I'd like to do now to improve the bedroom:
1. Paint the stark white a more creamy ivory

2. Paint the dark blue a more pale greenish-blue (& maybe add blik iron vines or paint a similar design)--or maybe I should paint the whole room the greenish-blue?

3. Get a headboard for the bed...preferably an upholstered one...diy if need be

4. Clear out some excess furniture

5. Remove the kitchen sink*

6. Reevaluate electronics

7. Hang artwork salon style on one wall

8. Update the bedding and drapery

9. Find the skeleton key that fits the door (and lock it sometimes)

Things I'm currently stuck with:
1. Realism has set in and right now there is no room in our budget for a brand new bed...though as my earlier post indicated we are in desperate need of one. Don't know any other way to achieve that than to save, save, save for one (maybe in time for the spring cure?) Being a SAHM has its drawbacks

2. Dark varnished wood trim & doors. I love the Craftsman trim and original doors elsewhere in the house, but it does make the bedroom seem dark--but it also seems kind of sac-religious to paint it (not to mention the superhuman effort it would take to strip the oil-based varnish--maybe when the kids are grown?)

*Yes, we really do have a kitchen sink in the bedroom--our house was built in the late 20's and the owners were worried they'd need to take in a boarder, so they prepared the room so that it could be a stand alone apartment. The farmhouse-style sink is hidden under a fake highboy looking cabinet, but it takes up a substantial corner of the room. (I must admit it did come in handy for bathing infants.)

making a to-do list

Thanks to Wende & Alana for the great idea of a to-do / done list in the side bar.....i have adopted it, and hope to see progress as time goes on. Because I was away for 4 days for the funeral, I am not very far along in this week's tasks. Now I have a busy weekend ahead (after the 3 soccer games and farmer's market visit that are my usual Saturday distractions.) My floors are littered with child related clutter....legos, backpacks, blocks, matchbox cars, polly pockets, crayons, socks/shoes, dirty laundry, clean laundry...it's a big job clearing them all and it will last for oh, about 5-minutes or so. I still need to do the master to-do-list....can I put "make a to-do list" on my to-do list?

where i've been

create your own visited states map

oh my aching back (or...the search for the holy grail)

A bedtime story....
Once upon a time....about 6 months ago, Joe and I went on a mission to purchase a new mattress. We had a king-sized Simmons beautyrest we invested in when we first moved in together...it was a comfortable mattress that served us well over those 14 years...through the first days, years, and decade of our marriage...the conceptions and births of our four beautiful children....the up and down stages of our relationship, the jumping up and down stages of our kids....the itchy stages, the madly in love again stages....even the peeing in the bed stages (kids, not us!) One day, our 5-year-old daughter used a pair of child-sized safety scissors to cut through a gorgeous set of 800-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and the entire top layer of our mattress. (Oh the travails of parenthood of a semi-slacker mom....she used those same "safety" scissors to lop off her younger sister's beautiful ponytailed ringlets--maybe I should start another blog.) After all that, we agreed it was time to buy a new mattress.

We researched, shopped, tested (as well as one can in a bright, fluorescent-lit mattress store showroom)....We finally found the mattress we wanted. We chose it because it was locally manufactured by real people working in a building we could really see....made from scratch; coils, springs and all, Amish-built wood frames, even...and it favorably compared to the top-of-the-line national brands. We bought the firmest, plushest, most expensive king-sized model they had. (I must admit here that it was also upholstered in a gleaming, creamy white that dazzled my eyes).

Fast forward 6 months....my husband and I are sleeping on the floor. Our children are jumping on, sleeping in (and yes, sometimes peeing) the beautiful white bed. The mattress is absolutely uncomfortable. I wake up after sleeping in it feeling like I'm 90-years-old....my husband sees the chiropractor weekly. I've tried toppers, pads, boards, pillows...nothing works....the mattress will not be tamed. Our bones are aching and our pockets are empty.

As I look forward several weeks to the bedroom phase of the deep-cure, I realize what must be done.

The quest begins anew........

granny dot

My Granny Dot kept her home spotless. She vacuumed and dusted daily. You would never find an object out of place or a dirty dish in the sink. Her home smelled of wonderful food, Murphy's and Febreeze. You could "eat off the kitchen floor." Granny Dot was not a warm and fuzzy grandmother....she didn't much care for hugs or kisses. She wasn't very patient with little children and the messes that follow them. She worked very hard her entire life...raised 4 daughters and a son after her husband died suddenly, leaving her a widow at 38. She was a ward secretary for the hospital, and knew absolutely everything about every doctor in town. If someone in the family was sick, they'd call Granny Dot for a referral to the very best doctor for any given ailment (and they'd get a rundown on the doctor's personal life too). As a timid child, I was quite frightened by Granny's gruff exterior and strict ways, and (though I hate to admit it) I dreaded visiting her house--where children should be seen and not heard, and you couldn't sit on the furniture or touch any of the beautiful porcelain birds and flowers that graced every polished, doily-covered surface. Sometimes she would wind up a musical one for us to listen to, but mostly, we had to sit and be still and quiet. I did not think she liked me much.

As I grew to an adult and spent more time with my grandmother, we got to know each other better, and I grew to understand her life from a different perspective. I learned about her childhood during the depression, and her difficult marriage to my alcoholic grandfather, who would come home on Friday, lock himself in a room and drink non-stop until Sunday. I learned about her deep struggles with depression--so paralyzing that she had electroshock treatments, and once spent months away from her children. As a mother of 4 children myself, I came to understand how hard it was for her to have 4 children within 4 years and the 5th child just a few years later, so that she had 5 children under the age of 9. When her husband died, she had to go to work, and she worked very hard--sometimes working 2 jobs--to raise her children. She did not have an easy life. We shared a deep love of books, and she would read voraciously and pass her favorites on to me. She had an amazing deadpan sense of humor (that I just never understood as a child) When I introduced her to a boyfriend she would size them up immediately, and not one passed muster....but when Joe came into my life, she adored him and knew before I did that he was the one. She was a wealth of advice about marriage and children. I learned that she loved me.

She mellowed a bit as she grew older, and it was a joy for me to see how she welcomed my children into her home. Though she still was not physically demonstrative with her affection, my kids looked forward to visiting Granny Dot, where they could find sparkling bowls of candy in every room and the best okra soup and pimento cheese sandwiches on earth. She was genuinely interested in hearing about their accomplishments in school, and she had framed pictures of them all over her house. They did not have to sit like little porcelain statues and be perfect and quiet.

Granny Dot died yesterday. I admire her strength of personality and her steadfast devotion to her children. I understand why she was such a tough cookie. I will always hold her in my heart, and I will place one of her precious musical porcelain birds on my shelf so I can think of her--but I will let my children touch it, and wind it up if they want to. I want them to know they were precious to her also.

fellow AT curators (sounds better than curers)

sm_stove.gif
Originally uploaded by SadiaB

I love this kitchen seen in SadiaB's style tray....

Browsing everyone's pictures, I started thinking about why the idea of participating in the cure with a group of others is so appealing...just having a community of people who are walking on the same path--sharing experiences, struggles, joy. Some are definitely further ahead on the journey, and some of us are just beginning the walk...There are varying tastes, budgets, situations and locations, but the wealth of knowledge that is shared as we are all working together is so inspiring!

i'm such a dweeb

i just entered the apartment therapy/blik contest to win wall decals for my bedroom...after re-reading what i wrote, i think i sound like a total nerd. oh well....that's me!

kitchen before pics

Pictures of the now clean, but still cluttered kitchen...In here, I'd like to find better storage, organizing, paperwork management and garbage/recycling solutions, and liven up the drab black/white/greenish-grey color scheme with touches of yellow. Visit my flickr page for more before pics.

feng shui for dopes

I watched a program about feng-shui, and this is what I got out of it:

• Feng-shui is a study devoted to creating the best environment to live in.
• Wind and water are the life forces.
• Intention is the sixth-sense.
  
• Chi is the combined energy of people living in the home and the environment of the home. Chi is like the DNA of the home.
  
• Energy flows in a harmonious environment and is disrupted in a disharmonious environment.

To help the chi flow in my home, these are some specific things I figure I should start with:
1. unclutter the whole house, especially the entryway & bedrooms
2. rearrange furniture to the commanding position
3. add plants, crystals and mirrors
4. clean top of fridge (only thing that should be there is a plant)
5. clear things from under the bed
6. no tv in bedroom
7. get a goldfish
8. put some yellow things in the kitchen
9. add some red to dining room

I was a bit confused with the Ba Gua map and how to find the different areas of the home, and what colors belong there, but I think that my dining room would be the wealth area, and my kitchen would be the health & children segment. Bedroom would be marriage & relationship, boys room would be knowledge, girls room is fame. I probably am reading the map wrong....I've never been good with reading maps and following directions.

The basic premise of uncluttering and rearranging furniture to allow for flow through the house is a smart thing to do and easily accomplished....plus my kids have been begging for a pet--a goldfish is certainly an easy enough pet to care for.

in the beginning (week one)

I have a style tray on flickr even though I'm doing the deep treatment....now I need to:
1. Make a list of repairs and solutions
2. Vacuum and mop all the floors (just purchased the retro metrovac and am excited to use it!)
3. Remove one item to the outbox
4. Buy fresh flowers
5. Sit for 10 minutes in a part of the house that I never sit in
6. Purchase earth-friendly cleaning products (done!)

the plan

I'm doing the Deep Treatment for my 3-bedroom home
Week One--Whole house (clean, list repairs)
Week Two--Kitchen (clean, declutter, cook)
Week Three--Front Hall (clean, declutter, plan a landing strip)
Week Four--Living Room (clean, declutter, arrange color)
Week Five--Office (clean, declutter, organize)
Week Six--Bathroom (clean, declutter, arrange light)
Week Seven--Bedroom (clean, declutter, arrange art)
Week Eight (get ready for a housewarming)

the interview

Favorites
List your favorite in each category:
Actress: Audrey Hepburn, Scarlett Johansson
Actor: Cary Grant, Clive Owen
Artist: James Turrell, Edward Hopper, Jackson Pollack, Henry Moore, Vermeer (the list goes on...)
Writer: Martin Amis, Evelyn Waugh, Agatha Christie
Music: Brave Combo, Van Morrison, Wilco, Sex Pistols (polka to punk and lots in between)
Restaurant: Indian, Italian, Southern soul-food
Automobile: my dream car: a bottle-green jaguar....what I really drive: a mini-van
Television show: ???
Clothing: Classic shapes with modern flair--Prada, Nicole Miller, the Gap (lots of black clothes)

How would you describe your style?
1. Contemporary
2. Classic
3. Bohemian

Personal History

Where have you lived?
Where you were born: El Paso, TX
Where you grew up: about a dozen different southern coastal small towns stretching from SC to VA....add in a dose of Waco, TX, South Bend, IN and Fayetteville, WV. we never stayed anywhere for more than a year or so.
As an adult: Charleston, SC (3 years) and Pittsburgh (14 years)

Whom would you consider a role model?
rachel

What three adjectives describe the qualities that you admire in this person?
1. compassionate
2. passionate
3. confident
(4. creative
5. nurturing)

Home
What is the problem with your (home)?
1. disjointed
2. cluttered & dirty
3. dark

If your (home) could speak, what would it say is the problem?
I can't breathe, and I need some loving care to make me feel comfortable.

What one thing would you like to do or do more of in your (home)?
Entertain......(and also be more creative)

Eight weeks from now, when this project is done, if friends came to visit, how would you like them to describe your home?
1. Comfortable
2. Relaxed
3. Interesting



Head
1. Does your home support everything you want to do? N
2. Do you use your home often? Y
3. Is there room for everything you want to do at home? N
4. Is there a good space for what is most important to you? N

Heart
5. Do you consider your home beautiful? N
6. Do you feel you have a sense of style? Y
7. Does your clothing express your style? Y
8. Does your home express your style? N

Breath
9. Do you consider your home comfortable? N
10. Do you sleep well at night? Y
11. Is your home organized? N
12. Is it easy to clean and declutter? N

Bones
13. Do you consider your home to be in good shape? N
14. Is everything in good working order? N
15. Do you take care of repairs quickly? N
16. Do you clean your home often? N

So, my home is "very ill. depressing. serious problems that are harmful to your health." I need this cure badly!

apartment therapy (the eight-step home cure)

(my messy pre-cure kitchen in all its glory...complete with dirty dishes, cabinets open, stuff on the counters....the real deal!!! No photo-styling or cleaning up for company here, my friend.)

I love this book....it has changed the way I look at my home. And I've become totally addicted to the weblog, www.apartmenttherapy.com! Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan has created a wonderfully simple step-by-step plan for making a space into a home and figuring out how to find your own style within your own budget. Geared toward the apartment dweller, but totally adaptable to the homeowner, the plan is broken down into bite-sized pieces--weekly assignments with a reward at the end. I am so excited to begin this transformative process and start on a journey of creating a truly healthy, happy home.

Another book that has been an inspiration to me to change my life and cure my home: It's All Too Much, by Peter Walsh. Walsh has written an honest, simple book that gets to the heart of why we accumulate clutter and live with more than we need, and how to free our space, mind and life of what we no longer need. The book struck a chord with me, and I spent the summer decluttering my basement and attic and unburdening myself of accumulated posessions. I have a long way to go, but feel good that I've gotten started on the path to a simpler, more satisfying life.