the girl who can't say no....

Well, I haven't made much visible progress during the last two weeks. I have gotten a little bit done: cleaned out the fridge, filled lots of bags up with outgrown childrens' clothing for donation, cleaned out the coat closet....but when you walk in the house, it looks like a disaster!

Here's the thing...I promised myself that I would spend two months on my house, without distraction or making any new commitments. But I lied. In the last three weeks I have spent over 40 hours volunteering in my childrens' school, I have spent over 8 hours volunteering for the toy library, I have hosted a birthday party for 15 five-year-olds, I have committed to chairing a fundraiser, I attended 2 community meetings, I am in the midst of writing the school newsletter...and the list goes on.

See, I have this problem. Like Ado Annie, I just can't say no to others....but I am starting to realize that always saying yes to others means saying no to myself.

serendipity!

Yesterday, after my contemplation session, I decided to look for or make an upholstered headboard for the bedroom....Imagine my surprise when I popped into the Salvation Army today to kill some time before picking-up the gang from school and (cue host of angels singing) THERE WAS MY HEADBOARD!!! (Wende, what are the odds?) King-sized, clean, solidly made, nice classic form. Set me back a whopping $9.95! Granted it is currently covered in a pinkish ultrasuede (not my thing at all) but will be so incredibly easy to recover it....now decision time!

How should I interpret my inspiration photos in the room?

The givens....
1. The bed has to stay in front of the window.
2. I want to use Alana's suggestion to extend the drapery to the width of the bed.
3. To do that, I must purchase (or make) new drapery& hardware.
4. I will cover the headboard.
5. I will paint the room.

My initial thoughts....
1. Paint all the walls the pale bluish-green.
2. Use flax color for drapes and some of the bed linens.
3. Use some deeper turquoise for other bed linens.
4. Boldly go where I have never gone before and use YELLOW! for the headboard? And add other bits of yellow throughout the room with accessories & artwork?

I currently don't own any yellow things, but I realized (with props to Alana) that it is a common thread throughout the inspiration rooms in my style tray. And I have recently been caught drooling over the images in Jess2NOLA's blog black.white.yellow.

Does it seem too much of a whim to use yellow for the headboard, since I have just discovered my lust for it? Am I over-thinking this? Do I over-think almost everything?

Bedroom Inspiration from Blueprint Magazine

Bedroom from Blueprint Magazine
Originally uploaded by p0lkad0t

Color inspiration for Bedroom from Domino

Bedroom inspiration from Domino

Bedroom Before

the cure bedroom before 004
Originally uploaded by p0lkad0t

quiet contemplation....(or mom! what are you sitting there for?)

Today I followed Maxwell's suggestion to sit down in a place in my house where I never sit...I chose the bedroom chair, which though very comfy is usually piled with clothing and harboring an action figure or two. After clearing the chair of its plastic occupants and putting the clean laundry away, I sat....It was hard, especially the silence part.

I am doing the deep treatment cure, but the bedroom is definitely one room I want put a bit more effort into. Besides our mattress, we have never had "real" bedroom furniture, just castoffs and placeholders. It may be wishful thinking, but I really would like to have a romantic, grown-up space for my husband and I to share--where children knock before entering (and wait for the response). A place to retreat for rest and reconnection at the end of the day. I think I'm about done with the family bed thing, and I long for a shred of privacy--maybe it is time to modify our open-door policy.

I developed a mini-list of improvements for the bedroom (don't know if the budget will handle all of them) This was a good exercise in sticking with it, even when it wasn't so easy.

Things I'd like to do now to improve the bedroom:
1. Paint the stark white a more creamy ivory

2. Paint the dark blue a more pale greenish-blue (& maybe add blik iron vines or paint a similar design)--or maybe I should paint the whole room the greenish-blue?

3. Get a headboard for the bed...preferably an upholstered one...diy if need be

4. Clear out some excess furniture

5. Remove the kitchen sink*

6. Reevaluate electronics

7. Hang artwork salon style on one wall

8. Update the bedding and drapery

9. Find the skeleton key that fits the door (and lock it sometimes)

Things I'm currently stuck with:
1. Realism has set in and right now there is no room in our budget for a brand new bed...though as my earlier post indicated we are in desperate need of one. Don't know any other way to achieve that than to save, save, save for one (maybe in time for the spring cure?) Being a SAHM has its drawbacks

2. Dark varnished wood trim & doors. I love the Craftsman trim and original doors elsewhere in the house, but it does make the bedroom seem dark--but it also seems kind of sac-religious to paint it (not to mention the superhuman effort it would take to strip the oil-based varnish--maybe when the kids are grown?)

*Yes, we really do have a kitchen sink in the bedroom--our house was built in the late 20's and the owners were worried they'd need to take in a boarder, so they prepared the room so that it could be a stand alone apartment. The farmhouse-style sink is hidden under a fake highboy looking cabinet, but it takes up a substantial corner of the room. (I must admit it did come in handy for bathing infants.)

making a to-do list

Thanks to Wende & Alana for the great idea of a to-do / done list in the side bar.....i have adopted it, and hope to see progress as time goes on. Because I was away for 4 days for the funeral, I am not very far along in this week's tasks. Now I have a busy weekend ahead (after the 3 soccer games and farmer's market visit that are my usual Saturday distractions.) My floors are littered with child related clutter....legos, backpacks, blocks, matchbox cars, polly pockets, crayons, socks/shoes, dirty laundry, clean laundry...it's a big job clearing them all and it will last for oh, about 5-minutes or so. I still need to do the master to-do-list....can I put "make a to-do list" on my to-do list?

where i've been

create your own visited states map

oh my aching back (or...the search for the holy grail)

A bedtime story....
Once upon a time....about 6 months ago, Joe and I went on a mission to purchase a new mattress. We had a king-sized Simmons beautyrest we invested in when we first moved in together...it was a comfortable mattress that served us well over those 14 years...through the first days, years, and decade of our marriage...the conceptions and births of our four beautiful children....the up and down stages of our relationship, the jumping up and down stages of our kids....the itchy stages, the madly in love again stages....even the peeing in the bed stages (kids, not us!) One day, our 5-year-old daughter used a pair of child-sized safety scissors to cut through a gorgeous set of 800-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and the entire top layer of our mattress. (Oh the travails of parenthood of a semi-slacker mom....she used those same "safety" scissors to lop off her younger sister's beautiful ponytailed ringlets--maybe I should start another blog.) After all that, we agreed it was time to buy a new mattress.

We researched, shopped, tested (as well as one can in a bright, fluorescent-lit mattress store showroom)....We finally found the mattress we wanted. We chose it because it was locally manufactured by real people working in a building we could really see....made from scratch; coils, springs and all, Amish-built wood frames, even...and it favorably compared to the top-of-the-line national brands. We bought the firmest, plushest, most expensive king-sized model they had. (I must admit here that it was also upholstered in a gleaming, creamy white that dazzled my eyes).

Fast forward 6 months....my husband and I are sleeping on the floor. Our children are jumping on, sleeping in (and yes, sometimes peeing) the beautiful white bed. The mattress is absolutely uncomfortable. I wake up after sleeping in it feeling like I'm 90-years-old....my husband sees the chiropractor weekly. I've tried toppers, pads, boards, pillows...nothing works....the mattress will not be tamed. Our bones are aching and our pockets are empty.

As I look forward several weeks to the bedroom phase of the deep-cure, I realize what must be done.

The quest begins anew........

granny dot

My Granny Dot kept her home spotless. She vacuumed and dusted daily. You would never find an object out of place or a dirty dish in the sink. Her home smelled of wonderful food, Murphy's and Febreeze. You could "eat off the kitchen floor." Granny Dot was not a warm and fuzzy grandmother....she didn't much care for hugs or kisses. She wasn't very patient with little children and the messes that follow them. She worked very hard her entire life...raised 4 daughters and a son after her husband died suddenly, leaving her a widow at 38. She was a ward secretary for the hospital, and knew absolutely everything about every doctor in town. If someone in the family was sick, they'd call Granny Dot for a referral to the very best doctor for any given ailment (and they'd get a rundown on the doctor's personal life too). As a timid child, I was quite frightened by Granny's gruff exterior and strict ways, and (though I hate to admit it) I dreaded visiting her house--where children should be seen and not heard, and you couldn't sit on the furniture or touch any of the beautiful porcelain birds and flowers that graced every polished, doily-covered surface. Sometimes she would wind up a musical one for us to listen to, but mostly, we had to sit and be still and quiet. I did not think she liked me much.

As I grew to an adult and spent more time with my grandmother, we got to know each other better, and I grew to understand her life from a different perspective. I learned about her childhood during the depression, and her difficult marriage to my alcoholic grandfather, who would come home on Friday, lock himself in a room and drink non-stop until Sunday. I learned about her deep struggles with depression--so paralyzing that she had electroshock treatments, and once spent months away from her children. As a mother of 4 children myself, I came to understand how hard it was for her to have 4 children within 4 years and the 5th child just a few years later, so that she had 5 children under the age of 9. When her husband died, she had to go to work, and she worked very hard--sometimes working 2 jobs--to raise her children. She did not have an easy life. We shared a deep love of books, and she would read voraciously and pass her favorites on to me. She had an amazing deadpan sense of humor (that I just never understood as a child) When I introduced her to a boyfriend she would size them up immediately, and not one passed muster....but when Joe came into my life, she adored him and knew before I did that he was the one. She was a wealth of advice about marriage and children. I learned that she loved me.

She mellowed a bit as she grew older, and it was a joy for me to see how she welcomed my children into her home. Though she still was not physically demonstrative with her affection, my kids looked forward to visiting Granny Dot, where they could find sparkling bowls of candy in every room and the best okra soup and pimento cheese sandwiches on earth. She was genuinely interested in hearing about their accomplishments in school, and she had framed pictures of them all over her house. They did not have to sit like little porcelain statues and be perfect and quiet.

Granny Dot died yesterday. I admire her strength of personality and her steadfast devotion to her children. I understand why she was such a tough cookie. I will always hold her in my heart, and I will place one of her precious musical porcelain birds on my shelf so I can think of her--but I will let my children touch it, and wind it up if they want to. I want them to know they were precious to her also.

fellow AT curators (sounds better than curers)

sm_stove.gif
Originally uploaded by SadiaB

I love this kitchen seen in SadiaB's style tray....

Browsing everyone's pictures, I started thinking about why the idea of participating in the cure with a group of others is so appealing...just having a community of people who are walking on the same path--sharing experiences, struggles, joy. Some are definitely further ahead on the journey, and some of us are just beginning the walk...There are varying tastes, budgets, situations and locations, but the wealth of knowledge that is shared as we are all working together is so inspiring!

i'm such a dweeb

i just entered the apartment therapy/blik contest to win wall decals for my bedroom...after re-reading what i wrote, i think i sound like a total nerd. oh well....that's me!

kitchen before pics

Pictures of the now clean, but still cluttered kitchen...In here, I'd like to find better storage, organizing, paperwork management and garbage/recycling solutions, and liven up the drab black/white/greenish-grey color scheme with touches of yellow. Visit my flickr page for more before pics.

feng shui for dopes

I watched a program about feng-shui, and this is what I got out of it:

• Feng-shui is a study devoted to creating the best environment to live in.
• Wind and water are the life forces.
• Intention is the sixth-sense.
  
• Chi is the combined energy of people living in the home and the environment of the home. Chi is like the DNA of the home.
  
• Energy flows in a harmonious environment and is disrupted in a disharmonious environment.

To help the chi flow in my home, these are some specific things I figure I should start with:
1. unclutter the whole house, especially the entryway & bedrooms
2. rearrange furniture to the commanding position
3. add plants, crystals and mirrors
4. clean top of fridge (only thing that should be there is a plant)
5. clear things from under the bed
6. no tv in bedroom
7. get a goldfish
8. put some yellow things in the kitchen
9. add some red to dining room

I was a bit confused with the Ba Gua map and how to find the different areas of the home, and what colors belong there, but I think that my dining room would be the wealth area, and my kitchen would be the health & children segment. Bedroom would be marriage & relationship, boys room would be knowledge, girls room is fame. I probably am reading the map wrong....I've never been good with reading maps and following directions.

The basic premise of uncluttering and rearranging furniture to allow for flow through the house is a smart thing to do and easily accomplished....plus my kids have been begging for a pet--a goldfish is certainly an easy enough pet to care for.

in the beginning (week one)

I have a style tray on flickr even though I'm doing the deep treatment....now I need to:
1. Make a list of repairs and solutions
2. Vacuum and mop all the floors (just purchased the retro metrovac and am excited to use it!)
3. Remove one item to the outbox
4. Buy fresh flowers
5. Sit for 10 minutes in a part of the house that I never sit in
6. Purchase earth-friendly cleaning products (done!)

the plan

I'm doing the Deep Treatment for my 3-bedroom home
Week One--Whole house (clean, list repairs)
Week Two--Kitchen (clean, declutter, cook)
Week Three--Front Hall (clean, declutter, plan a landing strip)
Week Four--Living Room (clean, declutter, arrange color)
Week Five--Office (clean, declutter, organize)
Week Six--Bathroom (clean, declutter, arrange light)
Week Seven--Bedroom (clean, declutter, arrange art)
Week Eight (get ready for a housewarming)

the interview

Favorites
List your favorite in each category:
Actress: Audrey Hepburn, Scarlett Johansson
Actor: Cary Grant, Clive Owen
Artist: James Turrell, Edward Hopper, Jackson Pollack, Henry Moore, Vermeer (the list goes on...)
Writer: Martin Amis, Evelyn Waugh, Agatha Christie
Music: Brave Combo, Van Morrison, Wilco, Sex Pistols (polka to punk and lots in between)
Restaurant: Indian, Italian, Southern soul-food
Automobile: my dream car: a bottle-green jaguar....what I really drive: a mini-van
Television show: ???
Clothing: Classic shapes with modern flair--Prada, Nicole Miller, the Gap (lots of black clothes)

How would you describe your style?
1. Contemporary
2. Classic
3. Bohemian

Personal History

Where have you lived?
Where you were born: El Paso, TX
Where you grew up: about a dozen different southern coastal small towns stretching from SC to VA....add in a dose of Waco, TX, South Bend, IN and Fayetteville, WV. we never stayed anywhere for more than a year or so.
As an adult: Charleston, SC (3 years) and Pittsburgh (14 years)

Whom would you consider a role model?
rachel

What three adjectives describe the qualities that you admire in this person?
1. compassionate
2. passionate
3. confident
(4. creative
5. nurturing)

Home
What is the problem with your (home)?
1. disjointed
2. cluttered & dirty
3. dark

If your (home) could speak, what would it say is the problem?
I can't breathe, and I need some loving care to make me feel comfortable.

What one thing would you like to do or do more of in your (home)?
Entertain......(and also be more creative)

Eight weeks from now, when this project is done, if friends came to visit, how would you like them to describe your home?
1. Comfortable
2. Relaxed
3. Interesting



Head
1. Does your home support everything you want to do? N
2. Do you use your home often? Y
3. Is there room for everything you want to do at home? N
4. Is there a good space for what is most important to you? N

Heart
5. Do you consider your home beautiful? N
6. Do you feel you have a sense of style? Y
7. Does your clothing express your style? Y
8. Does your home express your style? N

Breath
9. Do you consider your home comfortable? N
10. Do you sleep well at night? Y
11. Is your home organized? N
12. Is it easy to clean and declutter? N

Bones
13. Do you consider your home to be in good shape? N
14. Is everything in good working order? N
15. Do you take care of repairs quickly? N
16. Do you clean your home often? N

So, my home is "very ill. depressing. serious problems that are harmful to your health." I need this cure badly!

apartment therapy (the eight-step home cure)

(my messy pre-cure kitchen in all its glory...complete with dirty dishes, cabinets open, stuff on the counters....the real deal!!! No photo-styling or cleaning up for company here, my friend.)

I love this book....it has changed the way I look at my home. And I've become totally addicted to the weblog, www.apartmenttherapy.com! Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan has created a wonderfully simple step-by-step plan for making a space into a home and figuring out how to find your own style within your own budget. Geared toward the apartment dweller, but totally adaptable to the homeowner, the plan is broken down into bite-sized pieces--weekly assignments with a reward at the end. I am so excited to begin this transformative process and start on a journey of creating a truly healthy, happy home.

Another book that has been an inspiration to me to change my life and cure my home: It's All Too Much, by Peter Walsh. Walsh has written an honest, simple book that gets to the heart of why we accumulate clutter and live with more than we need, and how to free our space, mind and life of what we no longer need. The book struck a chord with me, and I spent the summer decluttering my basement and attic and unburdening myself of accumulated posessions. I have a long way to go, but feel good that I've gotten started on the path to a simpler, more satisfying life.